You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed.

I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, "Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that." And I always think, "Well, why don't you?"

Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten comics doing ten different things. That's not what happens when you go to hear music. There isn't a classical performance followed by a hoedown followed by rap.

I have a lot of hostility.

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.