I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building.

We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there.

Well, I'm sold. I'll take one America.

Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, "fair and balanced? Why, that's snide!" Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and balanced, but CNN used to have the slogan "You Can Depend on CNN". Guess what? I watch it, no you can't. So what's the difference?

Wait a minute, words in the prompter, script on my desk, vending machine upstairs out of Funyuns... the writers are back!

I don't have a sort of Amway-esque chart up on my refrigerator or anything.

I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, "Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that. That's exactly the way we see it and that's exactly the way we'd like to be saying that." And I always think, "Well, why don't you?"