By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is.

Robert Torricelli, a powerful fund-raiser who helped raise more than $100 million for the Democratic party, took inappropriate gifts from a businessman, including an $8,000 gold Rolex watch, for which he was severely admonished by the Senate Ethics Committee in July. To recap: raising $100 million in contributions from gigantic corporations - ethical; taking a watch - unethical. That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1974.

Cause if there's one thing Islamic terrorists don't have is....(seriously thinking about it)....%#@&!

There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.

It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.

When you're accustomed to doing stand-up, so often you're the only person onstage and it's all your thing. It's very gladiatorial. Obviously, when you're in a scene with somebody, you're supposed to listen and react - and that's a bit of a transition.