I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about, and that's really it. I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change, but I am far lazier than that.

I watch a lot of astronaut movies....Mostly Star Wars. And even Han and Chewie use a checklist.

President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.

Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair.

This is what happens when you don't let gays marry; they start designing clothes out of spite.

The best defence against bullshit is vigilance. So if you smell something, say something.

You've confused a war on your religion with not always getting everything you want.