Being a superpower is like being a Santa Claus that everyone hates.

All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family.

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance to get in touch with prejudices they didn't even know they had.

You have to remember one thing about the will of the people: it wasn't that long ago that we were swept away by the Macarena.

I mean, I'm not hoping for the apes and the monolith. I'm hoping for controlled chaos to assist us.

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.