[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.

The value of holding a grudge. And to always refer to my father sarcastically as Mr. Wonderful.

If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies.

We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there.

Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.

Trent Lott has regained a position of leadership. He was the former majority leader who lost his post for racially insensitive commentary. I believe he mentioned that Strom Thurmond in 1948, who ran as a segregationist candidate, should have won. ... But now, sound the irony alarm. He has recaptured a position and his position -- I kid you not -- in the Senate will be minority whip. So, my guess is he takes to that job like, let's say, white on rice.

The night I turned twenty-two, I drank a shot for every year. I was so drunk, I'd just walk up to people in the bar and hit them in the balls. My friends drove me home and left me propped up on the couch holding a bucket. I woke up with vomit all over me. The bucket was clean as a whistle.