[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.

Wow, the entire network of anchors has been hired to be the press secretary.

It's great having Bruce Springsteen on my show. We have so much in common! We're both from New Jersey, just from different neighborhoods. Sort of like how Martin Luther King and Margaret Mitchell both came from Atlanta. But from different neighborhoods.

I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.

You guys (Boko Haram) are trying so hard to convince everybody that you're such badasses. But all you've done with this kidnapping is highlight who the real badasses are, the kids you kidnapped. Compared to a teenager who knows that her desire for an education could get her dragged into a snake infested jungle to be sold as a bribe to some demented, stick-chewing cartoon villain but still gets up and goes to class everyday, fully aware of that danger - compared to their courage - I'd say Boko Haram is a bunch of little girls. But, you know what? You don't deserve that compliment.

I don't have a sort of Amway-esque chart up on my refrigerator or anything.

Models talk to you for six minutes and they're very nice and they say thank you and then it's off to the larger European men they actually have sex with.