Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher?

You wonder sometimes how our government puts on its pants in the morning.

Divorce isn't caused because 50% of marriages end in gayness.

Reform Jews are the children of Conservative Jews, or as they are sometimes known, Christians with curlier hair.

You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting reactions on our show. People are constantly saying, "I love your-your show is so funny, until you made a joke about global warming, which is a serious issue, and I can't believe you did that. And I am never watching your show again."

I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.

It's always funny until the hooker mentions her son.