Whenever you take over something that is popular and has a fanatical following that loves it, you're never going to please everyone. The trick is to have enough wherewithal to follow through with what you want to do with it and give it time to evolve.

War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs.

No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.

Here it is. My moment of zen.

I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.