Stephen Colbert is also then turned into news.

Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.

We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there.

Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.

California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.

The President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come."

What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?