The President says, "We are in the fight for a way of life. This is the greatest battle of our generation, and of the generations to come."

What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, "sup?"

Nothing brings closure to a campaign like opening it up again.

A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'

I want a sandwich named after me.

I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.

America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security of the world is threatened by Kim Jong-il, a nerdy, pompadoured, platform shoe-wearer who looks like something you'd put on the end of your child's pencil.