What you do for Jewish New Year is you go down to Times Square. It's a lot quieter than the regular New Year. It's just a few Jews walking around going, "sup?"

The important thing is, that I guess I don't spend any time thinking about what I am or what we do means. I spend my time doing it.

Honestly, folks, I think my brain is broken.

California is choosing between the lesser of, uh, 300 evils.

Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.

It's a wonder our country doesn't implode.