Sarah Palin has been tagged and released back into the wild.

I'm not trying to be modest of self-deprecating or in any way trying to do that.

I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media.

If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.

Oh press - must you spread hate? Can't you just stick to being wrong?

By the way, when you finish the bottle of Crown Royal, you can still use the pouch to hold your broken dreams.

I masturbate. A lot. And yet, I don't floss because it's too much of a hassle. Ten seconds of joy over a lifetime of tooth decay, that's what I've chosen.