Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?

Typically, when you're with your friends, premises are coming up left and right. But when you're on stage, you must create the premise. So you have to create the premise, paint the picture and then deliver the punch line.

Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?

I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount of self-loathing but because I'm in show business it's considered self-deprecation. In normal life I would just be considered your average neurotic.

Robert Torricelli, a powerful fund-raiser who helped raise more than $100 million for the Democratic party, took inappropriate gifts from a businessman, including an $8,000 gold Rolex watch, for which he was severely admonished by the Senate Ethics Committee in July. To recap: raising $100 million in contributions from gigantic corporations - ethical; taking a watch - unethical. That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1974.

I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place.

I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, "Hey, I'll take the frozen part."