If you don't get it right with your first family, you can always do it again with another.

You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point.

If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.

Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.

Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.

I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world.