I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

Never name it after yourself. Maybe we'll throw a with in there. That seems to work. Like Late Show With David Letterman.

[If President Bush is right about democracy in Iraq] I may, and I don't know if I can physically do this, implode.

I like not to be good at anything, so I keep hopping around.

I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point.

I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country.

(Terrorists) are planning to disrupt our democratic process. It's scary I know, but we're not going to let al Qaeda tell us what to do. In fact, our government has decided that if al Qaeda attempts to disrupt our democratic process, we are going to respond by disrupting it first.