Across the nation, thousands of people are lining up in hospital waiting rooms, out the doors, down the steps, around the corners, and behind the hedges, waiting for their inoculations. Here's another idea for avoiding the flu: DON'T stand outside in the cold for hours around lots of other people.

New York City isn't Chuck E. Cheese. We don't have ball pits for the kids to play in. We have titty bars and crack.

Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.

Everything is presented in as devious a manner as it could possibly be presented.

The Oscars is the one night of the year when you can see all your favorite stars without having to donate any money to the Democratic Party

They always throw around this term 'the liberal elite.' And I kept thinking to myself about the Christian right. What's more elite than believing that only you will go to heaven?

That, what we're really seeing in Iraq is not a terrible war, but in fact, just the media's portrayal of it.