No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that was only done by cartoon villains. You're (Pres. Bush) slowly going from being Nixon to Mr. Burns.

Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.

I don't have a sort of Amway-esque chart up on my refrigerator or anything.

I only find out where countries are when we start bombing them.

It's like hunting cows

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade, or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways, and you will find it, and people will no longer be grading you, but it will come from your own internal sense of decency.