Here’s how bizarre the war is that we’re in Iraq, and we should have known this right from the get-go: When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn’t want to go. Germany. The Michael Jordan of war took a pass.

I'm less upset with politicians than the media. I feel like politicians, there is a certain, inherent - you know, the way I always explain it is, when you go to the zoo and a monkey throws its feces, it's a monkey. But, when the zookeeper is standing right there, and he doesn't say bad monkey... Somebody's got to be the zookeeper.

War that hasn't affected us here, in the way that you would imagine a five-year war would affect a country.

Al-Qaeda's resurgence brings out the worst in the Bush Administration's math and logic.

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us?

That is the American experiment. An ethnic group arriving on America's shores, to be reviled and hazed, living in squalor, or if they are lucky Squalor Heights, working hard to give their children or grandchildren the opportunity to sh*t on the next group landing on our shores.

I don't have a sort of Amway-esque chart up on my refrigerator or anything.