Liberal and conservative have lost their meaning in America. I represent the distracted center.

Spain's new Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq - meaning the coalition of the willing is fast turning into a duet of the stubborn.

I feel like the only thing that I can do, and I've been fired from enough jobs, that I'm pretty confident in saying this, the only thing that I can do, even a little bit better than most people, is create that sort of that context with humor. And that's my way of not being helpless and not being hopeless.

Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

Get a sense of humor. If you don't, it'll be incredibly frustrating.

Corporations are the only reason the tax code is so complicated in the first place. Those off-shore loopholes didn't get carved out by poor people.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.