Gay people can't be proud of the country and want to defend it too. What's the army afraid is going to happen if gay people are in it. Private, shoot that man! I can't, he's adorable.

If you smell something, say something.

Critics have noted Schwarzenegger's only previous government experience was serving under President Bush senior as Chairman of the Council of Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger's only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway.

Glenn Beck does have a dream. Unfortunately, it's the kind of dream you have when you eat four pepperoni hot pockets right before bed.

I don't approve of political jokes; I have seen too many of them get elected.

The Westboro Baptist Church is no more a church than Church's Fried Chicken is a church.

I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything.