I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

How refreshing. A suspect beaten up BEFORE the LAPD showed up.

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.

Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again.

Putting the 10 commandments up to prevent crime is like putting 'Employees must wash hands' up to keep the piss out of your burger.

No matter what your race, creed or sexual preference, there is a word that people use to describe you that is very nasty. It's what we all have in common. That, and masturbation.