I have become increasingly unnerved by the depth of corruption that exists at many different levels. I'm less upset with politicians than [with] the media.

Does anyone know... does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because... uh... you've all been in charge pretty much since... uh... what was that guys name... Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.

Nathan Lane's Bus of Broadway Fun will be leaving shortly.

We declared war on terror-it's not even a noun, so, good luck.

I’m not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance

Hopefully the only things off-limits are crummy jokes, but being a standup comedian, I know that's not always the case... You know it when you have to take a shower afterward.

Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality.