I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.

The Internet is just a world passing around notes in a classroom.

I feel like the only thing that I can do, and I've been fired from enough jobs, that I'm pretty confident in saying this, the only thing that I can do, even a little bit better than most people, is create that sort of that context with humor. And that's my way of not being helpless and not being hopeless.

I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, "I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness."

As long as I don't end up hosting a skin care commercial with Cher, I'm happy.

That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.

The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'