I know that my job is to perform, it wouldn't be a very interesting show if I just came out one day and said, "I'm going to sit here in a ball and rock back and forth. And won't you join me for a half hour of sadness."

Cause if there's one thing Islamic terrorists don't have is....(seriously thinking about it)....%#@&!

Do you know how many movies I wrote when I was high?

I don't particularly enjoy those types of interviews, because I have a great respect for Senator McCain, and I hate the idea that our conversation became just two people sort of talking over each other, at one point.

It seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.

The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living ina desert if not for government meddling.

Watching Fox, that's like watching the Cartoon Network. Fox is nuts.