I thought we were out of money!? You can't simultaneously fire teachers AND tomahawk missiles.

Planet Hollywood has shrunk from seventy-five locations around the world to just over thirty-five over the past two years. No new Planet Hollywoods are opening, which in turn has caused a 100 percent decline in opportunities for Bruce Willis to play the harmonica.

That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic comedy-like material.

[He died of thirst?] That sounds, if I might say, like the greatest Sprite commercial ever.

I like a lot of wheels. If I could have eight wheels, I would.

Ah, the first rule of public speaking -- always start with a joke.

I watch a lot of astronaut movies....Mostly Star Wars. And even Han and Chewie use a checklist.