As an adolescent, Vonnegut made my life bearable.

We grew up in the good old days before kids had these damn computers and actually played outside.

Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration.

Across the nation, thousands of people are lining up in hospital waiting rooms, out the doors, down the steps, around the corners, and behind the hedges, waiting for their inoculations. Here's another idea for avoiding the flu: DON'T stand outside in the cold for hours around lots of other people.

Are you worried that, when you go to hell, you'll only be taking the local and not be on the express? Why would you look for a loophole to deny coverage to children with preexisting conditions?

Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.