I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.

Don't worry, as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.

Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are just a little bit late for something they have to do. Often it's something they do not want to do, but they do it. Impossible things get done every day that are only made possible by the little, reasonable compromises.

Why would these English explorers search for these spices, yet never use them in their food?

You talk about the Pro-Life movement being one of the great shames of our nation. I think, if you want number two, I think - I think it's that. I think it's absolute - it's a travesty that people have forced someone who is gay to make their case that they deserve the same basic rights.

I just thought, there are very few stories involving me, Anna Nicole Smith, and Jesus.