There's nothing like a shipwreck to spark the imagination of everyone who was not on that specific ship.
Jon StewartIt seems like Michael Vick is going to jail for dog fighting. Hopefully, they won't have guard dogs.
Jon StewartWait a minute! Wait a minute! I figured this out. I know what's wrong with what we've done in Iraq. We've been following time as it goes forward. What a classic mistake. Linear time is so pre-9-11.
Jon StewartI thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection.
Jon StewartYou may be asking yourself, 'Am I the right type of person to go to this rally?' The fact that you would even stop to ask yourself that question, as opposed to, let's say, just jumping up, grabbing the nearest stack of burnable holy books, strapping on a diaper and pointing your car towards D.C. -- that means I think you just might be right for it.
Jon Stewart