To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has dissolved into, well, me.

The best way to describe my ability was to say that after the game the other kids would say to me, 'Way to try!'

The danger of oppression is not just being oppressed, it's becoming an oppressor.

The building housing America's military brass is a five-sided pentagon, but somehow, the people in it still manage to make it the squarest place on earth. The latest evidence? A current military document that lists homosexuality as a mental disorder in the same league as mental retardation - noting, of course, the one difference: retarded people can still get into heaven.

They may want to insist that corporations are people but corporations are certainly not Americans.

Here in the U.S., we've made democracy into a science. A cold, impersonal science.

Isn't it amazing what scientists can accomplish when no one makes them stop?