Did you really JUST fall, Jeffrey? Why does everybody in my family talk in these dramatic CAPITAL LETTERS all the time? Why am I the only calm one?
Jordan SonnenblickThe only time I can ever remember Steven crying over any of it was after my treatment, when I tried to use my foot on his bass drum pedal, and we realized I could never play a drum set.
Jordan SonnenblickYou look like a handsome young manโฆalthough you might want to zip your fly. Mom! What? Should I have not told you and left it for everyone else to notice at the dance?
Jordan SonnenblickHi, Tad!' she said. 'Hi, Jeff! Hey, I'm not interrupting anything, am I?' 'Uh, no,' I said. 'We were just...I mean, Tad was...uh, nope.' 'So what were you guys talking about?' 'Well,' I said, 'it's very complicated. We were discussing...umm...hats. You know, hats. Like, the head kind.' 'There's another kind?' Lindsey asked. 'Hey, Jeff?' Tad said. 'If your mom needs any evidence to prove that you're retarded, let me know. I'd be glad to record you talking to Lindsey. I'm pretty sure that would do the trick.
Jordan SonnenblickOr maybe...their biggest fear is that they will get close to you again, and you'll go and drop dead.
Jordan SonnenblickFinally the kitchen clock said 5:17. It was time to roll out. I shouted for my mom, woke Jeffrey up, ran upstairs, changed into my concert clothes, put on my shoes, and was standing by the door to the garage by 5:19โchanting โLetโs go! Come on!โ (Feel free to try that at home, by the way; moms love it!)
Jordan Sonnenblick