A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it.

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

Experience is a school where a man learns what a big fool he has been.

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.