It is easy to assume a habit; but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.

It is a great art to be superior to others without letting them know it.

There's one good thing about tight shoes; they make you forget your other troubles.

If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.