A WISE MAN never enjoys himself so much, or a FOOL so little, as when he is alone.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.

Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff; ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.

It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.

Every man should know something of law; if he knows enough to keep out of it, he is a pretty good lawyer.

Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.