Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.

Method is the arithmetic of success.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.

Morally considered, laughter is next to the Ten Commandments.

A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.

A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.