Be kind to your mother-in-law, but pay for her board at some good hotel.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.

Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.

I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of; and that is judgment.

Most people repent their sins by thanking God they ain't so wicked as their neighbors.