If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

It is a great art to be superior to others without letting them know it.

I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that gets the grease.

Early genius, like early cabbage, does not head well.

One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.

Pity cost nothing and ain't worth nothing.