Satire that is seasonable and just is often more effectual than law or gospel.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.

I haven't got as much money as some folks, but I've got as much impudence as any of them, and that's the next thing to money.

There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

The hardest thing any man can do is to fall down on the ice when it's slippery, and get up and praise the Lord.

Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain't lawful tender for a loaf of bread.