There are only two qualities in the world: efficiency and inefficiency; and only two sorts of people: the efficient and the inefficient.

When a man makes up his mind to become a rascal, he should examine himself closely and see if he isn't better constructed for a fool.

The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.

Learning sleeps and snores in libraries, but wisdom is everywhere, wide awake, on tiptoe.

Dr. Holmes says, both wittily and truly, that crying widows are easiest consoled.

Put an Englishman into the garden of Eden, and he would find fault with the whole blasted concern; put a Yankee in, and he would see where he could alter it to advantage; put an Irishman in, and he would want to boss the thing; put a Dutchman in, and he would proceed to plant it.

Man is my brother, and I am nearer related to him through his vices than I am through his virtue.