Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years.

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.

I hate to be a kicker, I always long for peace, But the wheel that does the squeaking, is the one that gets the grease.