There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is.

The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide.

Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.