There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout.

There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

As a general thing, an individual who is neat in his person is neat in his morals.

Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.