The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.
When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.
Liberty, like chastity, once lost, can never be regained in its original purity.
The secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing.
Morally considered, laughter is next to the Ten Commandments.
Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.