Pity costs nothing, and it ain't worth nothing.
Virtue does not consist in the absence of the passions, but in the control of them.
There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.