If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved.

Don't have any more secrets than you can keep yourself.

...But why discourse Upon the Virtues of the Horse? They are too numerous to tell Save when you have a Horse to Sell.

In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.

Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will.

Fortune is like a coquette; if you don't run after her, she will run after you.

Pedantry is paraded knowledge.