Our continual desire for praise ought to convince us of our mortality, if nothing else will.

It ain't what a man don't know that makes him a fool, but what he does know that ain't so.

Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.

A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.

Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow; if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.

Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.

When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime.