Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first.

Don't ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.

Vanity is a strange passion; rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.

And now the lads and lasses, following the example of the birds, bill and coo together.

It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.

A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it.

Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.