The fools in this world make about as much trouble as the wicked do.

Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.

Newfoundland dogs are good to save children from drowning, but you must have a pond of water handy and a child, or else there will be no profit in boarding a Newfoundland.

You can reach stupidity only with a cannon ball.

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.

As in a game ov cards, so in the game ov life, we must play what is dealt tew us, and the glory consists, not so mutch in winning, as in playing a poor hand well.

A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.