If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.

Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.

Friendship is like earthenware, once broken, it can be mended; love is like a mirror, once broken that ends it.

Sekts and creeds ov religion, are like pocket compesses, good enuff tu pinte out the direction, but the nearer the pole yu git thewuss tha wurk.