If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.

Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.

Experience is a grindstone; and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.

It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.

There is no passion of the human heart that promises so much and pays so little as revenge.

Good nonsense is good sense in disguise.

I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.