It's not ignorance does so much damage; it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.

Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.

Vanity is a strange passion; rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.

I would much rather always look forward to the time when I am going to ride in a carriage, than to look back on the time when I used to.

When you do laugh, open your mouth wide enough for the noise to get out without squealing, throw your head back as though you were going to be shaved, hold on to your false hair with both hands and then laugh till your soul gets thoroughly rested.

[Science is] the literature of truth.

Love is like the measles; we can't have it bad but once, and the later in life we have it the tougher it goes with us.