I want a man in my life, not in my house.

I do like talk shows. I'm interested in talking to people.

I don't profess to be an expert on anything, or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen, that's my position.

I'm Italian, but some people think I'm Jewish because I work the Yiddish. I also work the Italian, by the way.

You know, I'm a comedian the same as Bill Maher and Jon Stewart. We all came up the same way. The three of us have interest in politics; I call us fundits, we're fundits! We're not pundits!

A better thing to grow up with is to be funny I think, and if I had, if I had my choice I would still pick that.

Statistically, skinny women die younger than fat women. Why? Because fat women are killing them.