What daughter thinks of her parents in flagrante delicto? Yet, my mother, even after years with him, dropped hints such as, 'You know, your father enjoys his matinees.' I never even saw them go to the movies together. What could she mean? All those afternoons, I thought she was upstairs listening to La Traviata, and those high notes apparently were not coming from the radio.

I want to do an intelligent talk show where you have room to breathe...

Those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants. And they're not voting for you, b*tch.

I keep my stand-up comedy notes in a pile on my desk. I don't organize my act. I keep myself in a state of confusion. It stresses me out, but I prefer creative chaos.

I don't profess to be an expert on anything, or have the memory for who ran in 1952. I am an informed American citizen, that's my position.

I don't want to do just a liberal show.

Monogamy is monotonous, but it's safe you know. And that's my philosophy. And I like to convey that to people.