My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!

I was nominated for two Grammy's, but ... more importantly, I like it when I get a letter from someone ... a person that I've affected their lives or I've helped them. That's important to me. Someone will say "I was feeling bad and you helped me".

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit a suicide?

I turned down a date once because I was looking for someone a little closer to the top of the food chain.

I am more comfortable doing comedy, and I want to perform comedy. When you can really make someone laugh, that's a healing experience. It's like music. A lot of music is really healing.

I'm husband hunting. Now, I know all the men are going to be gay but at this point, I need a new gay husband. Or, a new lesbian assistant. If you want something done, tell a lesbian and the she'll chop down a tree. Something like that.

My work is a mitzvah for the eyes & ears...and it will help you forget about your problems by thinking about mine for a change!